Jellybean Candy Monster Graphic Washed T-Shirt - Black

JELLY BEAN “The Sweetest Weird” American Vintage Quirky Print Unisex Tee in Charcoal Navy.

Every other brand in the room was making an argument about something serious. Hellstar was mapping the cosmos between hell and the stars. SAINT VANITY was holding the tension between the highest moral designation and the deepest emptiness. TAALOCS was naming the things the silence had been holding. These are serious projects. JELLY BEAN is not a serious project. JELLY BEAN is the argument that sometimes the most precise thing you can say is something that makes the person you are saying it to laugh, that the laugh is not the absence of meaning but a particular delivery of it, that the person who can make you laugh has accessed something in you that the person trying to make you feel the weight of existence has not found yet. The jelly bean is the candy that Ronald Reagan kept in a jar on the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office — the most powerful political office in the world, decorated with a jar of colored sugar shaped like small beans, which is either a sign that power requires the counterweight of sweetness to remain bearable, or a sign that the people who hold power are just people with the same candy preferences they had when they were eight, or both, which is the most jelly bean answer of all. The jelly bean is Easter and the candy jar and the movie theater and the thing you pick the good flavors out of and leave the rest and argue with whoever you are sharing with about which flavors are actually good, which is an argument that has never been resolved and never will be because the answer is a matter of personal candy preference that no external authority can adjudicate. The jelly bean is the sweetest possible subject for a print on the most serious possible color. Charcoal Navy is the color of SAINT VANITY’s Atlantic at midnight, of Hellstar Studios’ cosmos navigation, of the brand names that were named after the most extreme coordinates of existence. JELLY BEAN puts the sweetest, smallest, most colorful, most categorically harmless object in American snack culture on top of that color, and the result is the most honest thing any of these tees says: that the world contains jelly beans alongside everything else, and the person who can hold both the Charcoal Navy and the JELLY BEAN in the same outfit is the person who has actually figured out how the world works, which is that it is extremely serious and also extremely funny at the same time, that these are not contradictory assessments but a single accurate description of the same condition, and that the Tee that says JELLY BEAN in American vintage lettering on Charcoal Navy is not a joke about seriousness — it is the seriousness that has been present long enough to learn how to laugh. American vintage quirky: the Americana that was never trying to be hard. The roadside diner, the county fair, the cereal mascot, the sneaker brand that named itself after a candy — the aesthetic of a country that was building something enormous and eating jelly beans while it did it, which is what every country does with its enormous projects, which is what every person does with their enormous life: the serious thing is happening and somewhere nearby there is a jar of candy that nobody is too serious to reach for. Charcoal Navy. JELLY BEAN. Together on a tee. The most complete sentence any garment in this collection has formed.

Key Details

• 🍬😂 JELLY BEAN — the sweetest subversion, the argument that weird beats cool:
  • Not the serious brand — the brand that makes the argument that sometimes the most precise thing you can say is something that makes the person laugh, that the laugh is a particular delivery of meaning rather than its absence
  • The jelly bean: Reagan’s Resolute Desk candy jar, Easter, the movie theater argument about which flavors are actually good — an argument that has never been resolved and never will be because no external authority can adjudicate personal candy preference
  • The person who holds both the Charcoal Navy and the JELLY BEAN in the same outfit is the person who has figured out how the world works: extremely serious and extremely funny at the same time — not contradictory, a single accurate description of the same condition.
• 🍬🌌 JELLY BEAN on Charcoal Navy — the sweetest object on the most serious color:
  • Charcoal Navy in this collection: the Atlantic at midnight, the cosmos navigation, the coordinates of extreme existence — the color of every brand that was making an argument about something serious
  • JELLY BEAN on top of it: the sweetest, smallest, most colorful, most categorically harmless object in American snack culture — placed directly on the most serious color in the room
  • Not a joke about seriousness. The seriousness that has been present long enough to learn how to laugh. Charcoal Navy + JELLY BEAN: the most complete sentence any garment in this collection has formed.
• 🇺🇸😄 American Vintage Quirky — the Americana that was never trying to be hard:
  • The roadside diner, the county fair, the cereal mascot, the sneaker brand that named itself after candy — the aesthetic of a country building something enormous and eating jelly beans while doing it
  • Which is what every country does with its enormous projects, what every person does with their enormous life: the serious thing is happening and somewhere nearby there is a jar of candy that nobody is too serious to reach for
  • American vintage funny: not the absence of depth — the depth that found a lighter way to travel. The quirky print is the vehicle.
• 📏 Unisex — Sizes S–XL — Pure Cotton — $59.00